Distractions
by catastrophic berry
Summary: my first attempt at a Wicked fan-fic goes horribly wrong, the characters help out. Musical-verse. dabble.


**authors note: My first ever Wicked Fic (also, thinking of that, my first ever fan-fic). I have'nt written anything in years, so sorry if the writing style or story itself isn't up to much.  
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**Based on a true story, Wicked characters are awfully distracting when you're trying to write stories about them. **

**I appologize if I offend any fans of both Twilight and Wicked ^^;  
**

**Wicked (unfortunately) does not belong to me. **

**Please review :3  
**

"No, no, no NO!"

I jabbed furiously at the backspace key, erasing yet another fan-fiction title from the screen. It had been at least two hours since I had sat down in front of the computer, intending to write a Wicked fan-fiction. In that time all I had managed to write was a single word: 'Fiyaro'.

"Gods screw it, since when did writing fan-fictions get so hard?" I moaned, pounding the keyboard in desperation.

The screen now read: Fiyaro...jqwhgfeh.

Great.

"You know, you might want to fix the title up a little" came a sudden voice to my left "I mean, I get the name and all, but what are all the weirdified letters supposed to mean?"

Glinda upland was peering over my shoulder, her heavily made-up features screwed up in concentration as she read the title. 'Sounds like... jequahugfeh' suddenly her expression brightened and she turned, nearly poking me in the eye with her wand 'Hey Elphie, isn't that-'

"No Glinda, a jequahugfeh is not a type of fruit" replied a voice to my right as Elphaba Thropp leaned over my other shoulder, her green skin thrown into sharp relief by the desk lamp. She paused and looked again "...and neither is _Fiyero _spelled like that. Honestly kid, if you're going to try and write a fan-fiction you should at least _attempt_ to get our names right!"

"Eh. Sorry" I managed to choke, quickly erasing and retyping.

"No, no need to apologize" sighed Elphaba, moving away from the monitor "I suppose you were planning to write some sort of romantic drivel about Fiyero and myself. Almost certainly neglecting to use any form of punctuation or grammar" her gaze Settled on my Glasses and somewhat gormless expression "you seem the type"

"Elphie! You can't say that!" whined Glinda, Jumping up so quickly that her volumous dress knocked over my bedside table "we have to be nice to our Fans, remember? It's either this or Twilight. We have to preserve all the fans we have left!"

"Yeah. I mean, Come on Fae, the title had the word 'Fiyero' in it. How could it possibly be that bad?" cut in a voice from behind me. A man, no, a _scarecrow_ was sprawled lazily across the length of my sofa. When he moved, several rips in his shirt and trousers would spill small amounts straw all over the cushions.

"Oh, come on _Fiyero_" mimicked an exasperated Elphaba "have you read what some of these fans have written about us? We have to do something about it!"

"erm, excuse me?" I coughed nervously

They all turned to look at me

"What?" demanded Elphaba.

"I wasn't...I mean I'm not" I took a deep breath "I'm not actually a fan of you guys..."

Glinda gave a startled little gasp.

"Not a fan!" cried Fiyero "how can you not be a fan? You were writing a Wicked fan-fic were you not?"

"Well, I mean, yes. I _like _you guys, sure. I just wasn't writing a fic about you and neither are you my favorite characters" I blushed "sorry"

"Very well. Pray tell us then, who WERE you writing a fan-fiction for?" asked Elphaba coldly. Despite her earlier comments, she didn't seem all that pleased to have lost a potential fan.

"er" I coughed again and lowered my gaze away from all three of the glaring characters.

"Boq" I murmured at last "I was writing a fic about Boq"

A soft moan came from the corner of the room. This was shortly followed by a loud thud as the Tin-clad man who had stood there seemingly unnoticed throughout the entire conversation, crashed to the ground.

"hm" muttered Elphaba, ignoring the sudden distraction "a Bessa fan. I should have known"

From his position, face down on the carpet, Boq gave another moan, louder this time. "Not another-one" he whimpered "I always get the crazy ones. Why do_ I_ always get the crazy ones?"

"Karma?" suggested Fiyero.

"Hey! That's unfair" cried Boq, lifting his head high enough off of the ground to yell at Fiyero "I never-"

But their argument was interrupted by the sound of footsteps in the corridor outside my room.

Everyone paused to listen.

Suddenly my door exploded open with a loud smash, raining bits of wood down upon the lot of us. A figure stood in the remains of the doorway; hands on hips, one ruby shod foot tapping gently against the carpet.

"So" whispered Nessarose "a Boq fan are you?"

...Oh Shiz...


End file.
